Through a wide range of experiences over the past few years, I'd like to think that I've learned a lot about leadership, and it has become very evident that we are becoming a self-crippling nation. The very thing that we take so much pride in, which is our ability to elect our own leaders, is the one thing that is causing many of the problems that face us as a nation.
Very often we hear people complaining how politicians don't tell the truth, people complain that the government can't balance the budget. Well, because of our electoral system, because people who want to lead this nation must win votes before they can lead, they are not able to tell the truth or do the right thing.
While standing in line at the grocery store waiting to check out, I watched someone run up a $300+ bill only to pay with a WIC card (food stamps basically) and her cart was not exactly filled with healthy option. She spent more on sodas and sugary drinks (previously condemned by the food police, aka Michelle Obama) than I did on my entire bill. I'd think that most people can agree that this isn't right, but can you IMAGINE the backlash if a politician said this. Many people can agree that there are many workers out there that make minimum wage that, frankly, are lazy workers. Most reasonable people can agree that if you are over 20 years old and still making minimum wage, that you are not living up to your potential. Most reasonable people can agree that it's not right that 47% of workers don't pay taxes, but imagine the backlash if a politician ran on this platform. Mitt Romney ran on a platform that hinted that he was serious about balancing the budget, and he hinted that EVERYONE should pay their fair share, including the 47% and he was crucified for it.
We are crippling ourselves as a nation because we allow followers to select their leader; followers that don't understand what makes a good, strong leader. A strong leader is someone who is willing to tell people a message that they don't want to hear. As a result, because our leaders have to pander to what will win the votes of the followers. A sheep wants to be led by the strongest sheep, but the strongest sheep is still not strong enough to confront the wolf. Until the wolf shows itself at the doorstep, the sheep are content with following the strongest sheep, but at the first sight of the wolf, the sheep cries for the sheepdog, whom they have previously shunned.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Goals vs Plans
People in today's society too often confuse a goal with a plan. We have become an activities focused society as opposed to a results focused society, and this is one of the biggest roadblocks in people growing and improving physically, financially, professionally, and in some cases, competitively, and it hinders us from accomplishing our goals.
Let's look at a commonplace example. How many times have we heard "My new year's resolution (goal) is to eat right and exercise twice a week"? This is a pretty obvious example, but it illustrates how easy it is to confuse a goal with a plan. Don't get me wrong, wanting to eat right and exercise regularly is certainly noble, but what measures success? For exercising, the only measurement is "yes I did" or "no I didn't". A more tangible goal would be "I want to lose 10 lb" or "I want to run a half marathon".
In both cases, the individual would be exercising and improving their diet ideally, but when you have a concrete end state against which you can measure yourself, you are more likely to make the best use of your time when you are conducting your activity, and you actually have a way to check to see if what you are doing is working; to see if you are actually progressing or not.
When it comes to training, I made the mistake of focusing on the activity. I was ok with just getting on the mats and training X number of times per week, but soon, every training session became the same, and my game became stagnant, because I was always comparing my performance with each partner with the previous performance against that same partner.
Starting in 2014 I took more of a focused approach. "I'm going to train tonight" became "I'm going to work on passing tonight" or "I'm going to focus on closed guard" but that was still more activity focused than result focused, even though those areas have seen very drastic improvement over the past 4 months. Lately, it's become more "I'm going to hit an armbar from closed guard" and "I'm going to do a successful drop-step pass"
The lesson here is to start taking responsibility for results instead of just taking responsibility for the activity.
Let's look at a commonplace example. How many times have we heard "My new year's resolution (goal) is to eat right and exercise twice a week"? This is a pretty obvious example, but it illustrates how easy it is to confuse a goal with a plan. Don't get me wrong, wanting to eat right and exercise regularly is certainly noble, but what measures success? For exercising, the only measurement is "yes I did" or "no I didn't". A more tangible goal would be "I want to lose 10 lb" or "I want to run a half marathon".
In both cases, the individual would be exercising and improving their diet ideally, but when you have a concrete end state against which you can measure yourself, you are more likely to make the best use of your time when you are conducting your activity, and you actually have a way to check to see if what you are doing is working; to see if you are actually progressing or not.
When it comes to training, I made the mistake of focusing on the activity. I was ok with just getting on the mats and training X number of times per week, but soon, every training session became the same, and my game became stagnant, because I was always comparing my performance with each partner with the previous performance against that same partner.
Starting in 2014 I took more of a focused approach. "I'm going to train tonight" became "I'm going to work on passing tonight" or "I'm going to focus on closed guard" but that was still more activity focused than result focused, even though those areas have seen very drastic improvement over the past 4 months. Lately, it's become more "I'm going to hit an armbar from closed guard" and "I'm going to do a successful drop-step pass"
The lesson here is to start taking responsibility for results instead of just taking responsibility for the activity.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
30
So, someone asked me today "what does 30 feel like?".
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The Paradox of Fear Part Deux
I'm going to further build on this idea that courageous acts are not born out of courage, but out of fear.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
The One Time Choice
Carlos Castaneda said that we choose only once to be warriors or to be ordinary. The difference between the warriors and ordinary men is that where ordinary people see only blessings and curses, successes and failures, wins and losses, the warriors see only challenges; everything is perceived as either a challenge that has been overcome, or it is a challenge yet to be overcome.
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
Monday, October 21, 2013
Dreams and Values
I've heard it said that people don't get to where they want to be because their values are not in line with their dreams. People can dream big and set lofty goals all they want, but if they aren't willing to change their way of thinking, goals mean nothing. What are the values that people need to change?
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Expectations
In the world of competition, there is no A B C grading scale. There is no room in our world for "at least you tried your best" or "at least you won a medal". In the world of competition, there is winning, and there is losing, and where there is losing, there is learning. "At least you _____" doesn't count for anything unfortunately. There is no A B C grading scale. This is pass or fail. There is victory, or there is nothing.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Sheepdog Mentality
There are three types of people in this world. There are sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. The relationship between the three is pretty obvious. The sheep have zero capacity for violence, and are relatively incapable of harming another, except by accident or extreme provocation, and therefore, often are victimized by the wolves. The wolves have zero capacity for mercy and little regard for the well-being of others, and therefore, life for nothing more than to victimize others. The sheepdog has both a capacity of violence and mercy. He lives to confront those who wish to victimize others and although wishes to avoid confrontation, is willing to put himself in danger for the greater good.
I won't spend much time talking about what makes a wolf a wolf, because it is obvious.
What makes a sheep a sheep has little to do with being weak or feeble. A sheep is a sheep because he is in denial of the potential dangers that lurk around him. He walks around in a state of "condition white", relatively oblivious to his surroundings or hoping that nothing bad will happen. On the converse, being a sheepdog has little to do with your physical abilities. It has nothing to do with being strong or tough, but it represents a level of preparedness. This doesn't mean that a sheepdog walks around in a constant state of paranoia, or having a vault filled with a plan for every foreseeable danger. There is no way to visualize every possible scenario out there and have a plan for each one. Being a sheepdog means having the ability to react to the unexpected and do so quickly, and most importantly, decisively.
Anyone reading this may begin to think that the whole idea of being a sheepdog is all about being a hero, saving the prey from the predator, or the victim from the bully. Having the sheepdog mentality has much further implications than just saving the little guy from the attacker. You need to be a financial sheepdog. What is your ability to handle the situation is something breaks in your home or on your car? You need to be a situational sheepdog. How do you react if some accidental catastrophe happens, such as a fire or car accident? Do not live in a perpetual state of simply hoping nothing bad will ever happen, that is not peace of mind, nor is it a survival plan. Peace of mind is in knowing that when the unexpected happens, you trust in your ability to execute the cycle of Orient, Observe, Decide, Act, and do so quickly, intelligently, and decisively.
I won't spend much time talking about what makes a wolf a wolf, because it is obvious.
What makes a sheep a sheep has little to do with being weak or feeble. A sheep is a sheep because he is in denial of the potential dangers that lurk around him. He walks around in a state of "condition white", relatively oblivious to his surroundings or hoping that nothing bad will happen. On the converse, being a sheepdog has little to do with your physical abilities. It has nothing to do with being strong or tough, but it represents a level of preparedness. This doesn't mean that a sheepdog walks around in a constant state of paranoia, or having a vault filled with a plan for every foreseeable danger. There is no way to visualize every possible scenario out there and have a plan for each one. Being a sheepdog means having the ability to react to the unexpected and do so quickly, and most importantly, decisively.
Anyone reading this may begin to think that the whole idea of being a sheepdog is all about being a hero, saving the prey from the predator, or the victim from the bully. Having the sheepdog mentality has much further implications than just saving the little guy from the attacker. You need to be a financial sheepdog. What is your ability to handle the situation is something breaks in your home or on your car? You need to be a situational sheepdog. How do you react if some accidental catastrophe happens, such as a fire or car accident? Do not live in a perpetual state of simply hoping nothing bad will ever happen, that is not peace of mind, nor is it a survival plan. Peace of mind is in knowing that when the unexpected happens, you trust in your ability to execute the cycle of Orient, Observe, Decide, Act, and do so quickly, intelligently, and decisively.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Rules of Success
A wise person once told me that you only suffer as much as you want to. This is true in so many ways, and unfortunately people just don't see it. Desire is the fuel that drives action, and contentment is the brake pedal. If you are not acting to change your situation, it is because deep down, no matter how much you claim the contrary, you are content with your current situation. How many times have we been in the middle of something and all of a sudden you feel like you need to answer nature's call? You think to yourself, "oh, I can hold it..it's not that bad" we take action when we don't feel like holding it in anymore. We are content with holding it in until the pain (or the DESIRE to relieve that pain) forces us to act.
All successful people, whether it is a businessman, an athlete, or whatever else has one thing in common. They hate to fail. They hate to lose. It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth. Muhammed Ali once said that only a man who knows what it's like to be defeated can reach deep down in his soul and find the strength to win when the fight is even. Take this one step further. Successful people don't just hate to fail, they hate failure in general. In order to be successful, you must learn to hate failure to the point where you refuse to accept it for yourself, and hate to see it in others, even by your competition. I always want to beat my competition, but I want to beat them by my actions, my progress, and my success, and not by their lack thereof.
The other thing successful people have in common is that they are uncommon. They do what the common people don't do. That includes taking the initiative to wake up early on weekends when they don't have to. Sleeping in accomplishes only one thing. It wastes time that you could be getting something accomplished. Unless you are a 2nd shift worker, pretty much everybody, even successful people, are doing the same thing at 9 pm. They are unwinding, getting ready to shut down for the day. The difference comes in the morning, when some will get up at 6, and take that extra 3 hours while the other guy is still sleeping.
Your success will be defined in the unseen moments. When everyone else is resting, what are you doing? When the other guy says "that's good enough" what will you say?
All successful people, whether it is a businessman, an athlete, or whatever else has one thing in common. They hate to fail. They hate to lose. It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth. Muhammed Ali once said that only a man who knows what it's like to be defeated can reach deep down in his soul and find the strength to win when the fight is even. Take this one step further. Successful people don't just hate to fail, they hate failure in general. In order to be successful, you must learn to hate failure to the point where you refuse to accept it for yourself, and hate to see it in others, even by your competition. I always want to beat my competition, but I want to beat them by my actions, my progress, and my success, and not by their lack thereof.
The other thing successful people have in common is that they are uncommon. They do what the common people don't do. That includes taking the initiative to wake up early on weekends when they don't have to. Sleeping in accomplishes only one thing. It wastes time that you could be getting something accomplished. Unless you are a 2nd shift worker, pretty much everybody, even successful people, are doing the same thing at 9 pm. They are unwinding, getting ready to shut down for the day. The difference comes in the morning, when some will get up at 6, and take that extra 3 hours while the other guy is still sleeping.
Your success will be defined in the unseen moments. When everyone else is resting, what are you doing? When the other guy says "that's good enough" what will you say?
Friday, August 31, 2012
We're Back
After a long hiatus, longer than I am proud to admit, I've returned. Hopefully I'll stick with it this time..here is today's rant.
What is this country and this world coming to when we take things like ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and label them "disorders" and decide that we need to medicate them.
Being labeled OCD or ADD are a good thing. Personally, I double check everything that I write for spelling and grammar errors. People often say "that stuff doesn't matter anymore". You bet it matters. I set a standard for myself to pursue perfection in everything that I do, and that standard encompasses everything that I do. I insist that my drawings at work are as efficient and clean as possible, as well as any drawings anyone does for me. I will not release my own drawings until they meet my standard, and I will not work with someone else's drawings until they meet my standard. The same applies to projects on my house. Everything I do, I try to make it as perfect and uniform as my hands are capable. Go ahead, call me OCD for that, and thank you for the compliment.
Go ahead and label me ADD because it appears to you that I can't focus on just one thing. Why is that? It's because I never only have one thing on my mind. If my mind is only focused on one thing at a time, it is a waste of brain-hours. I am constantly giving my mental attention to multiple things at once. Always thinking about how I can make things more efficient at my job, how I can make myself more valuable to the company, and therefore how I can convince my boss to pay me more money for what I do. I am always thinking about how I can better promote my products and business, and who is a good candidate to join my team and who can best benefit from use of my product. I am always thinking of how I can give myself the best chance to win my next jiu-jitsu competition. I am always thinking of the next step on my current house project, when I will accomplish this, and what the next house project after this one is done.
The point here is this:
Do not medicate these "disorders", run with them!
What is this country and this world coming to when we take things like ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and label them "disorders" and decide that we need to medicate them.
Being labeled OCD or ADD are a good thing. Personally, I double check everything that I write for spelling and grammar errors. People often say "that stuff doesn't matter anymore". You bet it matters. I set a standard for myself to pursue perfection in everything that I do, and that standard encompasses everything that I do. I insist that my drawings at work are as efficient and clean as possible, as well as any drawings anyone does for me. I will not release my own drawings until they meet my standard, and I will not work with someone else's drawings until they meet my standard. The same applies to projects on my house. Everything I do, I try to make it as perfect and uniform as my hands are capable. Go ahead, call me OCD for that, and thank you for the compliment.
Go ahead and label me ADD because it appears to you that I can't focus on just one thing. Why is that? It's because I never only have one thing on my mind. If my mind is only focused on one thing at a time, it is a waste of brain-hours. I am constantly giving my mental attention to multiple things at once. Always thinking about how I can make things more efficient at my job, how I can make myself more valuable to the company, and therefore how I can convince my boss to pay me more money for what I do. I am always thinking about how I can better promote my products and business, and who is a good candidate to join my team and who can best benefit from use of my product. I am always thinking of how I can give myself the best chance to win my next jiu-jitsu competition. I am always thinking of the next step on my current house project, when I will accomplish this, and what the next house project after this one is done.
The point here is this:
Do not medicate these "disorders", run with them!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Dual Nature of a Warrior
The ancient Spartans had a tradition, where before they step off to battle, they would take their "ticket" which was nothing more than a small tab of wood with their name inscribed on each end, and they would break it in half, taking half with them into battle and leaving the other half behind in the hands of a designated ticket keeper. When the battle was over and the combatants returned to camp, the keeper would call off names one by one, and each man would then go claim his half of the broken ticket. The unclaimed tickets are of those that fell in battle.
The dividing of the ticket also symbolizes the dividing of one's self and leaving behind that half of you, the better half, that carries every inclination towards love, mercy, and compassion; that side that delights in his children and lifts his voice in song. The warrior then takes with him the side of him that knows only his baser instincts, only combat, survival, and slaughter, the side of him that looks across the battlefield and sees only soldiers, without a name an without a face. As soon as faces appear recognizeable across the way, the soldier becomes a man, and mercy and compassion enter the picture. It is not until the battle is over and the ticket is once again joined together where the warrior experiences that sacremental moment when he is once again whole.
There exists an interesting dynamic among the villain, the hero, and the damsel in distress. In the typical scenario, the damsel is captured by the villain, then the villain is defeated by the hero, and the damsel is rescued. So the villain overcomes the damsel, the hero overcomes the villain, yet it is the damsel that weakens the knees of the hero. Evil hates love, so it strives to overcome it, and in this dynamic, evil succeeds in doing so. The hero's righteous anger is what overcomes evil, and love quells the righteous anger. This is why love, and all other feelings derived from love like mercy and compassion, have no place on the field of battle. Love calms the righteous anger that burns in the heart of every warrior, which allows evil to flourish, and in turn, love is extinguished.
The dividing of the ticket also symbolizes the dividing of one's self and leaving behind that half of you, the better half, that carries every inclination towards love, mercy, and compassion; that side that delights in his children and lifts his voice in song. The warrior then takes with him the side of him that knows only his baser instincts, only combat, survival, and slaughter, the side of him that looks across the battlefield and sees only soldiers, without a name an without a face. As soon as faces appear recognizeable across the way, the soldier becomes a man, and mercy and compassion enter the picture. It is not until the battle is over and the ticket is once again joined together where the warrior experiences that sacremental moment when he is once again whole.
There exists an interesting dynamic among the villain, the hero, and the damsel in distress. In the typical scenario, the damsel is captured by the villain, then the villain is defeated by the hero, and the damsel is rescued. So the villain overcomes the damsel, the hero overcomes the villain, yet it is the damsel that weakens the knees of the hero. Evil hates love, so it strives to overcome it, and in this dynamic, evil succeeds in doing so. The hero's righteous anger is what overcomes evil, and love quells the righteous anger. This is why love, and all other feelings derived from love like mercy and compassion, have no place on the field of battle. Love calms the righteous anger that burns in the heart of every warrior, which allows evil to flourish, and in turn, love is extinguished.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The Paradox of Fear
To many, "fear" is a dirty four letter word. It is a stumbling block on the way to overcoming your obstacles, and in some cases, fear cripples. Fear can also be your best friend if you handle it correctly. Sylvester Stallone compares it to a fire in Rocky 5. If you control it, it will make you hot. If you let it control you, it will consume you and everything else around you.
Judgement, knowledge, and courage, three of fourteen traits that make a good leader. These three traits have one thing in common: they are all rooted in fear, more specifically, fear of undesired consequence. Fear and knowledge go hand in hand because in this case, knowledge is simply our awareness of the possibility of the undesired consequences which leads us to try and make the right decisions to avoid that consequence. This is where sound judgement comes into play. People call courage the antithesis of fear, and say that courage is the overcoming of fear, but that isn't exactly true.
Fear is overcome by fear itself. Fear of our adversary is overcome by fear of defeat. Fear of rejection is overcome by our fear of dying alone. Fear of adversity is overcome by the fear of failure. In the case of the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae, the fear of death was overcome by a fear of dishonor and the fear of the death of their families and the destruction of their beloved city.
Franklin Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. I say fear is nothing to be afraid of. Fear is something to be embraced. It curbs you from recklessness, and can drive you to greatness. There is nothing wrong with being afraid; there is, however, in allowing it to consume you.
Judgement, knowledge, and courage, three of fourteen traits that make a good leader. These three traits have one thing in common: they are all rooted in fear, more specifically, fear of undesired consequence. Fear and knowledge go hand in hand because in this case, knowledge is simply our awareness of the possibility of the undesired consequences which leads us to try and make the right decisions to avoid that consequence. This is where sound judgement comes into play. People call courage the antithesis of fear, and say that courage is the overcoming of fear, but that isn't exactly true.
Fear is overcome by fear itself. Fear of our adversary is overcome by fear of defeat. Fear of rejection is overcome by our fear of dying alone. Fear of adversity is overcome by the fear of failure. In the case of the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae, the fear of death was overcome by a fear of dishonor and the fear of the death of their families and the destruction of their beloved city.
Franklin Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. I say fear is nothing to be afraid of. Fear is something to be embraced. It curbs you from recklessness, and can drive you to greatness. There is nothing wrong with being afraid; there is, however, in allowing it to consume you.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Defining Moments
Sometimes the most meaningful and impactful lessons are learned in the trenches. My competition career hasn't always been pleasant. Things took a turn south in my early wrestling career when I became accepting of the fact that in every contest, there must be a winner and a loser. In the past I have had moments when I let my guard down and had defeat snatched from the jaws of what should have been a sure victory. It is the nature of competition in general and it is especially the nature of combat sports. Unfortunately, I believed it.
July 17, 2011 I competed at a grappling tournament in Minnesota. I was entering my 5th match of the day. I had won 2 matches and lost 2 matches at this point (the 2 losses were both to the same person). Because the tournament was held at a training facility and not a larger venue, there was no air conditioning and the temperature that day just happened to be 95 degrees. I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but at a pivotal point in the match, I was winning by a score of 5-0. Suddenly my opponent trapped my head and one arm with his legs, and was a few adjustments away from securing a "triangle choke" which has been a kryptonite for me. I had already fought 4 hard matches that day, it was 95 degrees in the gym, and I was exhausted. In a moment of weakness I thought to myself "oh no..I can't believe this is happening again" when I heard an all to familiar voice in my ear like an angel on my shoulder saying "No Mike..don't you DARE give that up." Even though physically he was not there, I heard him. I managed to escape the attempted choke hold and despite giving up an inconsequential 2 point sweep late in the match, won the match. It was a big milestone for me personally because it was my first competition win over a blue belt in a "gi" match.
I was too exhausted to realize it at the time, but after some personal reflection time on my 5 hour drive home, I realized that that one single moment would have much further reaching impacts than just winning me that match. It was the first time in recent times that I had experienced that "grit factor" that drives a person to just win.
In every contest there is always a winner and a loser. Sometimes it is because one side is just superior to the other, sometimes it is because one person made a critical mistake, sometimes it is because one person happened to make the right decision at the right time. Sometimes the eventual winner has the advantage the entire match, sometimes he takes victory from the jaws of defeat. It is just the harsh nature of what we do, and it is a lesson I learned and come to accept early on. It is a lesson that I am trying to forget.
Everything is easy when things are going right. People think that Superman is a brave man. How can you be brave when you know you cannot fail? It is easy to face bullets when you know they cannot hurt you. Unfortunately, this is about as realistic as leprechauns and unicorns. Game plans will fail. Unexpected things will happen. Does this mean that we go in blind, without a plan, because inevitably it will fail? Certainly not. However, when things don't go according to plan, there is only one decision that needs to be made.
Often times winners win simply because they made that decision to win. In doing so, you may not always win, but you will always fight. As the Spartans used to say: "Come home with your shield...or on it."
July 17, 2011 I competed at a grappling tournament in Minnesota. I was entering my 5th match of the day. I had won 2 matches and lost 2 matches at this point (the 2 losses were both to the same person). Because the tournament was held at a training facility and not a larger venue, there was no air conditioning and the temperature that day just happened to be 95 degrees. I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but at a pivotal point in the match, I was winning by a score of 5-0. Suddenly my opponent trapped my head and one arm with his legs, and was a few adjustments away from securing a "triangle choke" which has been a kryptonite for me. I had already fought 4 hard matches that day, it was 95 degrees in the gym, and I was exhausted. In a moment of weakness I thought to myself "oh no..I can't believe this is happening again" when I heard an all to familiar voice in my ear like an angel on my shoulder saying "No Mike..don't you DARE give that up." Even though physically he was not there, I heard him. I managed to escape the attempted choke hold and despite giving up an inconsequential 2 point sweep late in the match, won the match. It was a big milestone for me personally because it was my first competition win over a blue belt in a "gi" match.
I was too exhausted to realize it at the time, but after some personal reflection time on my 5 hour drive home, I realized that that one single moment would have much further reaching impacts than just winning me that match. It was the first time in recent times that I had experienced that "grit factor" that drives a person to just win.
In every contest there is always a winner and a loser. Sometimes it is because one side is just superior to the other, sometimes it is because one person made a critical mistake, sometimes it is because one person happened to make the right decision at the right time. Sometimes the eventual winner has the advantage the entire match, sometimes he takes victory from the jaws of defeat. It is just the harsh nature of what we do, and it is a lesson I learned and come to accept early on. It is a lesson that I am trying to forget.
Everything is easy when things are going right. People think that Superman is a brave man. How can you be brave when you know you cannot fail? It is easy to face bullets when you know they cannot hurt you. Unfortunately, this is about as realistic as leprechauns and unicorns. Game plans will fail. Unexpected things will happen. Does this mean that we go in blind, without a plan, because inevitably it will fail? Certainly not. However, when things don't go according to plan, there is only one decision that needs to be made.
Often times winners win simply because they made that decision to win. In doing so, you may not always win, but you will always fight. As the Spartans used to say: "Come home with your shield...or on it."
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Mind and Body
Greatness is not normal. Not in the sense that greatness is abnormal or weird. It is more a comparison of common vs uncommon. To attain what is uncommon, you must be willing to do what common people aren't willing to do; to endure what they won't. Do you want to know how you know you are on the right track? If you tell someone what you did and their first reaction is "you're crazy" or they ask "why?". If they need to ask why, don't bother explaining because they wouldn't understand.
How many times have we heard someone say "you should listen to your body"? Reply back "no, my body listens to me." I liken the relationship between the mind and the body to that of a parent and a child. A child will often ask for things that it wants, whether it be a new toy, ice cream before dinner, or permission to stay up late. The parent knows that this is not in the child's best interest in terms of growth and development, and therefore must say no from time to time. Similarely, the body will get tired and want to rest. Just as a child only has the short term in mind, the body is also short-sighted. The body sees that it is tired at that moment and therefore wants rest. The mind, mindful of the bigger picture--the ultimate goal--must at that moment decide whether giving into the body's request is in the best interest when it comes to the pursuit of the ultimate goal. Most of the time, your mind should be saying to press on, but sometimes, rest is in the best interest to prevent injury, which would result in a greater setback in your pursuit of the ultimate goal.
I have often said "Sometimes I train my body to be strong, and sometimes I train it to be obedient." Yes, this will result in your body feeling less than 100%. This is just your body throwing a temper tantrum. Are you going to be that strong parent that sticks to your guns? Or will you give in? This is all part of the mental battle. The funny thing about your body is that it has no memory, and will quickly forgive you when the tempest has settled. I don't have children of my own, so I cannot speak intelligently on whether children are the same way. I am hoping so in the interest of reinforcing the analogy (and for my own sake when that day does come when I do have children).
I am going to revert back to my previous post about the captain and the red shirt. Despite the fact that your body isn't feeling the best, often times you need to "fake it". Resist the urge to jump to conclusions here. I am not saying that you should go through the motions. Quite the opposite. No matter how you feel on the inside, always appear on the outside like nothing is wrong. I guarantee that someone else is feeling the same way, just as bad as you, and will see how you respond, and they will respond accordingly. Someone else is looking to you, relying on you and your reaction to find the inner strength to press on, and as exhausted as you are, and as much as you don't want to press on, you are not alone. Many before you have felt the same way, or worse, and many before you have overcome those feelings.
The difference between silver and gold, between winners and champions, is that champions are sore BEFORE they get to the gym.
How many times have we heard someone say "you should listen to your body"? Reply back "no, my body listens to me." I liken the relationship between the mind and the body to that of a parent and a child. A child will often ask for things that it wants, whether it be a new toy, ice cream before dinner, or permission to stay up late. The parent knows that this is not in the child's best interest in terms of growth and development, and therefore must say no from time to time. Similarely, the body will get tired and want to rest. Just as a child only has the short term in mind, the body is also short-sighted. The body sees that it is tired at that moment and therefore wants rest. The mind, mindful of the bigger picture--the ultimate goal--must at that moment decide whether giving into the body's request is in the best interest when it comes to the pursuit of the ultimate goal. Most of the time, your mind should be saying to press on, but sometimes, rest is in the best interest to prevent injury, which would result in a greater setback in your pursuit of the ultimate goal.
I have often said "Sometimes I train my body to be strong, and sometimes I train it to be obedient." Yes, this will result in your body feeling less than 100%. This is just your body throwing a temper tantrum. Are you going to be that strong parent that sticks to your guns? Or will you give in? This is all part of the mental battle. The funny thing about your body is that it has no memory, and will quickly forgive you when the tempest has settled. I don't have children of my own, so I cannot speak intelligently on whether children are the same way. I am hoping so in the interest of reinforcing the analogy (and for my own sake when that day does come when I do have children).
I am going to revert back to my previous post about the captain and the red shirt. Despite the fact that your body isn't feeling the best, often times you need to "fake it". Resist the urge to jump to conclusions here. I am not saying that you should go through the motions. Quite the opposite. No matter how you feel on the inside, always appear on the outside like nothing is wrong. I guarantee that someone else is feeling the same way, just as bad as you, and will see how you respond, and they will respond accordingly. Someone else is looking to you, relying on you and your reaction to find the inner strength to press on, and as exhausted as you are, and as much as you don't want to press on, you are not alone. Many before you have felt the same way, or worse, and many before you have overcome those feelings.
The difference between silver and gold, between winners and champions, is that champions are sore BEFORE they get to the gym.
Environment
I am currently in the process of reading a book titled "The Law of Success" by a man named Napoleon Hill. Hill was an advisor to two U.S. Presidents, Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt. The fundamental theory behind "The Law of Success" was just what the title says, that success does not involve luck. There are a set of "rules" or at least common characteristics that lead to success. Before putting together his book, Hill interviewed some of the mort powerful and influential people of that time, including, but not limited to: Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, John Rockefeller, Charles Schwab, and Theodore Roosevelt.
Although I am not very far into the book (about 150 pages into a 1000+ page "lesson plan"), there are two distinct ideas that I have taken from the book so far.
The first is that we need to be sure of what our goals are. Allow me to rephrase that. We must be sure of what our ULTIMATE goals are. Mr. Hill calls it a "definite chief aim". The reason people often fail is because they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment. Granted, in any journey, there will be detours, obstacles, and roadblocks, but if you set your compass north, you will always find a way around those obstacles and stay in a positive direction. These roadblocks may slow your journey and even take you places that you didn't expect to go, but as long as you know where your ultimate direction is, you will stay on track.
The second is to surround yourself with the right people; to place yourself in the right environment. This is where the saying "birds of a feather flock together" came from. It is no coincidence that the people in the above list knew eachother personally. They were not rivals, as they were each titans in their own distinct industry, so they could feed off eachother's successes, and learn from their setbacks.
These two "lessons" tie in together when it comes to placing yourself in the right environment. It is important to have people around you with similar goals as you. However, in order to actually do this, you have to know what your ultimate goals are. As it turns out, my ultimate goal is to become a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion, so I am lucky to be in an environment with similar minded individuals.
Everything in your environment is contagious. I am not talking about actual diseases; I am talking about characteristics. Courage and enthusiasm (and the lack of) are two prime examples. Both flow from top to bottom. When going through hardships, when you are exhausted, or feeling unmotivated, it is human nature to look up. You look to the people who have been there longer than you. This is meant to be a message to both leaders and followers. To the followers, when you are training hard and are feeling exhausted, so are your leaders. Look at them. How are they handling it? Leaders are not immune to fatigue, hardship, and lack of motivation, it is how they handle it that makes them leaders. Leaders keep it to themselves because they know that there are alot of eyes on them, and how they respond to adversity will influence those that look up to them. To the leaders, you are being watched, so set a positive example. Work twice as hard as the followers, and do it cheerfully. Everything you say and do has a ripple effect among those around you.
I am going to close this up with a "joke" summarizing the leader/follower relationship.
There was a navy crew on a ship at sea. The liutenant warned the captain that a dozen enemy ships had come over the horizon and combat was imminent. The captain calmly said to his liutenant "go get my red shirt". His thinking was that if he were wounded in battle, the red shirt would keep his crew from seeing him bleeding, and as long as he was still fighting strong, they would assume he is still unscathed and also continue to fight. His liutenant returned with the red shirt and a new warning that another dozen ships had appeared on the horizon. The captain replied: "go get my brown pants".
Although I am not very far into the book (about 150 pages into a 1000+ page "lesson plan"), there are two distinct ideas that I have taken from the book so far.
The first is that we need to be sure of what our goals are. Allow me to rephrase that. We must be sure of what our ULTIMATE goals are. Mr. Hill calls it a "definite chief aim". The reason people often fail is because they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment. Granted, in any journey, there will be detours, obstacles, and roadblocks, but if you set your compass north, you will always find a way around those obstacles and stay in a positive direction. These roadblocks may slow your journey and even take you places that you didn't expect to go, but as long as you know where your ultimate direction is, you will stay on track.
The second is to surround yourself with the right people; to place yourself in the right environment. This is where the saying "birds of a feather flock together" came from. It is no coincidence that the people in the above list knew eachother personally. They were not rivals, as they were each titans in their own distinct industry, so they could feed off eachother's successes, and learn from their setbacks.
These two "lessons" tie in together when it comes to placing yourself in the right environment. It is important to have people around you with similar goals as you. However, in order to actually do this, you have to know what your ultimate goals are. As it turns out, my ultimate goal is to become a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion, so I am lucky to be in an environment with similar minded individuals.
Everything in your environment is contagious. I am not talking about actual diseases; I am talking about characteristics. Courage and enthusiasm (and the lack of) are two prime examples. Both flow from top to bottom. When going through hardships, when you are exhausted, or feeling unmotivated, it is human nature to look up. You look to the people who have been there longer than you. This is meant to be a message to both leaders and followers. To the followers, when you are training hard and are feeling exhausted, so are your leaders. Look at them. How are they handling it? Leaders are not immune to fatigue, hardship, and lack of motivation, it is how they handle it that makes them leaders. Leaders keep it to themselves because they know that there are alot of eyes on them, and how they respond to adversity will influence those that look up to them. To the leaders, you are being watched, so set a positive example. Work twice as hard as the followers, and do it cheerfully. Everything you say and do has a ripple effect among those around you.
I am going to close this up with a "joke" summarizing the leader/follower relationship.
There was a navy crew on a ship at sea. The liutenant warned the captain that a dozen enemy ships had come over the horizon and combat was imminent. The captain calmly said to his liutenant "go get my red shirt". His thinking was that if he were wounded in battle, the red shirt would keep his crew from seeing him bleeding, and as long as he was still fighting strong, they would assume he is still unscathed and also continue to fight. His liutenant returned with the red shirt and a new warning that another dozen ships had appeared on the horizon. The captain replied: "go get my brown pants".
Introduction
Greetings and welcome to my new blog. It is titled "Inside the Mind of a Warrior" because yes, I am heavily involved in combat sports, but it can easily be applied to anyone who is striving to meet a goal they set out for themselves, whatever it may be.
I was motivated to start this blog by 2 people. One is a person who is very close to me and means very much to me. She recently started a blog of her own where she very eloquently and passionately outlines her career path, and what inspired her to choose the direction she did. The other person I had never met, but he was very influential in the world of combat sports. His name is Charles Lewis Jr. a.k.a. "Mask". He was one of the founders of what is now known as the TapouT empire. He once said "Hopefully at the end of the day, it will be said that I encouraged people to encourage." He was tragically lost in a car wreck. The world lost a great motivator when he left us.
Again, welcome, and enjoy the ride.
I was motivated to start this blog by 2 people. One is a person who is very close to me and means very much to me. She recently started a blog of her own where she very eloquently and passionately outlines her career path, and what inspired her to choose the direction she did. The other person I had never met, but he was very influential in the world of combat sports. His name is Charles Lewis Jr. a.k.a. "Mask". He was one of the founders of what is now known as the TapouT empire. He once said "Hopefully at the end of the day, it will be said that I encouraged people to encourage." He was tragically lost in a car wreck. The world lost a great motivator when he left us.
Again, welcome, and enjoy the ride.
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