Through a wide range of experiences over the past few years, I'd like to think that I've learned a lot about leadership, and it has become very evident that we are becoming a self-crippling nation. The very thing that we take so much pride in, which is our ability to elect our own leaders, is the one thing that is causing many of the problems that face us as a nation.
Very often we hear people complaining how politicians don't tell the truth, people complain that the government can't balance the budget. Well, because of our electoral system, because people who want to lead this nation must win votes before they can lead, they are not able to tell the truth or do the right thing.
While standing in line at the grocery store waiting to check out, I watched someone run up a $300+ bill only to pay with a WIC card (food stamps basically) and her cart was not exactly filled with healthy option. She spent more on sodas and sugary drinks (previously condemned by the food police, aka Michelle Obama) than I did on my entire bill. I'd think that most people can agree that this isn't right, but can you IMAGINE the backlash if a politician said this. Many people can agree that there are many workers out there that make minimum wage that, frankly, are lazy workers. Most reasonable people can agree that if you are over 20 years old and still making minimum wage, that you are not living up to your potential. Most reasonable people can agree that it's not right that 47% of workers don't pay taxes, but imagine the backlash if a politician ran on this platform. Mitt Romney ran on a platform that hinted that he was serious about balancing the budget, and he hinted that EVERYONE should pay their fair share, including the 47% and he was crucified for it.
We are crippling ourselves as a nation because we allow followers to select their leader; followers that don't understand what makes a good, strong leader. A strong leader is someone who is willing to tell people a message that they don't want to hear. As a result, because our leaders have to pander to what will win the votes of the followers. A sheep wants to be led by the strongest sheep, but the strongest sheep is still not strong enough to confront the wolf. Until the wolf shows itself at the doorstep, the sheep are content with following the strongest sheep, but at the first sight of the wolf, the sheep cries for the sheepdog, whom they have previously shunned.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Goals vs Plans
People in today's society too often confuse a goal with a plan. We have become an activities focused society as opposed to a results focused society, and this is one of the biggest roadblocks in people growing and improving physically, financially, professionally, and in some cases, competitively, and it hinders us from accomplishing our goals.
Let's look at a commonplace example. How many times have we heard "My new year's resolution (goal) is to eat right and exercise twice a week"? This is a pretty obvious example, but it illustrates how easy it is to confuse a goal with a plan. Don't get me wrong, wanting to eat right and exercise regularly is certainly noble, but what measures success? For exercising, the only measurement is "yes I did" or "no I didn't". A more tangible goal would be "I want to lose 10 lb" or "I want to run a half marathon".
In both cases, the individual would be exercising and improving their diet ideally, but when you have a concrete end state against which you can measure yourself, you are more likely to make the best use of your time when you are conducting your activity, and you actually have a way to check to see if what you are doing is working; to see if you are actually progressing or not.
When it comes to training, I made the mistake of focusing on the activity. I was ok with just getting on the mats and training X number of times per week, but soon, every training session became the same, and my game became stagnant, because I was always comparing my performance with each partner with the previous performance against that same partner.
Starting in 2014 I took more of a focused approach. "I'm going to train tonight" became "I'm going to work on passing tonight" or "I'm going to focus on closed guard" but that was still more activity focused than result focused, even though those areas have seen very drastic improvement over the past 4 months. Lately, it's become more "I'm going to hit an armbar from closed guard" and "I'm going to do a successful drop-step pass"
The lesson here is to start taking responsibility for results instead of just taking responsibility for the activity.
Let's look at a commonplace example. How many times have we heard "My new year's resolution (goal) is to eat right and exercise twice a week"? This is a pretty obvious example, but it illustrates how easy it is to confuse a goal with a plan. Don't get me wrong, wanting to eat right and exercise regularly is certainly noble, but what measures success? For exercising, the only measurement is "yes I did" or "no I didn't". A more tangible goal would be "I want to lose 10 lb" or "I want to run a half marathon".
In both cases, the individual would be exercising and improving their diet ideally, but when you have a concrete end state against which you can measure yourself, you are more likely to make the best use of your time when you are conducting your activity, and you actually have a way to check to see if what you are doing is working; to see if you are actually progressing or not.
When it comes to training, I made the mistake of focusing on the activity. I was ok with just getting on the mats and training X number of times per week, but soon, every training session became the same, and my game became stagnant, because I was always comparing my performance with each partner with the previous performance against that same partner.
Starting in 2014 I took more of a focused approach. "I'm going to train tonight" became "I'm going to work on passing tonight" or "I'm going to focus on closed guard" but that was still more activity focused than result focused, even though those areas have seen very drastic improvement over the past 4 months. Lately, it's become more "I'm going to hit an armbar from closed guard" and "I'm going to do a successful drop-step pass"
The lesson here is to start taking responsibility for results instead of just taking responsibility for the activity.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
30
So, someone asked me today "what does 30 feel like?".
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The Paradox of Fear Part Deux
I'm going to further build on this idea that courageous acts are not born out of courage, but out of fear.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
The One Time Choice
Carlos Castaneda said that we choose only once to be warriors or to be ordinary. The difference between the warriors and ordinary men is that where ordinary people see only blessings and curses, successes and failures, wins and losses, the warriors see only challenges; everything is perceived as either a challenge that has been overcome, or it is a challenge yet to be overcome.
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
Monday, October 21, 2013
Dreams and Values
I've heard it said that people don't get to where they want to be because their values are not in line with their dreams. People can dream big and set lofty goals all they want, but if they aren't willing to change their way of thinking, goals mean nothing. What are the values that people need to change?
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Expectations
In the world of competition, there is no A B C grading scale. There is no room in our world for "at least you tried your best" or "at least you won a medal". In the world of competition, there is winning, and there is losing, and where there is losing, there is learning. "At least you _____" doesn't count for anything unfortunately. There is no A B C grading scale. This is pass or fail. There is victory, or there is nothing.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
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