Sunday, September 9, 2012

Rules of Success

A wise person once told me that you only suffer as much as you want to.  This is true in so many ways, and unfortunately people just don't see it.  Desire is the fuel that drives action, and contentment is the brake pedal.  If you are not acting to change your situation, it is because deep down, no matter how much you claim the contrary, you are content with your current situation.  How many times have we been in the middle of something and all of a sudden you feel like you need to answer nature's call?  You think to yourself, "oh, I can hold it..it's not that bad" we take action when we don't feel like holding it in anymore.  We are content with holding it in until the pain (or the DESIRE to relieve that pain) forces us to act.

All successful people, whether it is a businessman, an athlete, or whatever else has one thing in common.  They hate to fail.  They hate to lose.  It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth.  Muhammed Ali once said that only a man who knows what it's like to be defeated can reach deep down in his soul and find the strength to win when the fight is even.  Take this one step further.  Successful people don't just hate to fail, they hate failure in general.  In order to be successful, you must learn to hate failure to the point where you refuse to accept it for yourself, and hate to see it in others, even by your competition.  I always want to beat my competition, but I want to beat them by my actions, my progress, and my success, and not by their lack thereof.

The other thing successful people have in common is that they are uncommon.  They do what the common people don't do.  That includes taking the initiative to wake up early on weekends when they don't have to.  Sleeping in accomplishes only one thing.  It wastes time that you could be getting something accomplished.  Unless you are a 2nd shift worker, pretty much everybody, even successful people, are doing the same thing at 9 pm.  They are unwinding, getting ready to shut down for the day.  The difference comes in the morning, when some will get up at 6, and take that extra 3 hours while the other guy is still sleeping.

Your success will be defined in the unseen moments.  When everyone else is resting, what are you doing?  When the other guy says "that's good enough" what will you say?

Friday, August 31, 2012

We're Back

After a long hiatus, longer than I am proud to admit, I've returned.  Hopefully I'll stick with it this time..here is today's rant.

What is this country and this world coming to when we take things like ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and label them "disorders" and decide that we need to medicate them.

Being labeled OCD or ADD are a good thing.  Personally, I double check everything that I write for spelling and grammar errors.  People often say "that stuff doesn't matter anymore".  You bet it matters.  I set a standard for myself to pursue perfection in everything that I do, and that standard encompasses everything that I do.  I insist that my drawings at work are as efficient and clean as possible, as well as any drawings anyone does for me.  I will not release my own drawings until they meet my standard, and I will not work with someone else's drawings until they meet my standard.  The same applies to projects on my house.  Everything I do, I try to make it as perfect and uniform as my hands are capable.  Go ahead, call me OCD for that, and thank you for the compliment.

Go ahead and label me ADD because it appears to you that I can't focus on just one thing.  Why is that?  It's because I never only have one thing on my mind.  If my mind is only focused on one thing at a time, it is a waste of brain-hours.  I am constantly giving my mental attention to multiple things at once.  Always thinking about how I can make things more efficient at my job, how I can make myself more valuable to the company, and therefore how I can convince my boss to pay me more money for what I do.  I am always thinking about how I can better promote my products and business, and who is a good candidate to join my team and who can best benefit from use of my product.  I am always thinking of how I can give myself the best chance to win my next jiu-jitsu competition.  I am always thinking of the next step on my current house project, when I will accomplish this, and what the next house project after this one is done.

The point here is this:
Do not medicate these "disorders", run with them!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Dual Nature of a Warrior

The ancient Spartans had a tradition, where before they step off to battle, they would take their "ticket" which was nothing more than a small tab of wood with their name inscribed on each end, and they would break it in half, taking half with them into battle and leaving the other half behind in the hands of a designated ticket keeper.  When the battle was over and the combatants returned to camp, the keeper would call off names one by one, and each man would then go claim his half of the broken ticket.  The unclaimed tickets are of those that fell in battle.

The dividing of the ticket also symbolizes the dividing of one's self and leaving behind that half of you, the better half, that carries every inclination towards love, mercy, and compassion; that side that delights in his children and lifts his voice in song.  The warrior then takes with him the side of him that knows only his baser instincts, only combat, survival, and slaughter, the side of him that looks across the battlefield and sees only soldiers, without a name an without a face.  As soon as faces appear recognizeable across the way, the soldier becomes a man, and mercy and compassion enter the picture.  It is not until the battle is over and the ticket is once again joined together where the warrior experiences that sacremental moment when he is once again whole.

There exists an interesting dynamic among the villain, the hero, and the damsel in distress.  In the typical scenario, the damsel is captured by the villain, then the villain is defeated by the hero, and the damsel is rescued.  So the villain overcomes the damsel, the hero overcomes the villain, yet it is the damsel that weakens the knees of the hero.  Evil hates love, so it strives to overcome it, and in this dynamic, evil succeeds in doing so.  The hero's righteous anger is what overcomes evil, and love quells the righteous anger.  This is why love, and all other feelings derived from love like mercy and compassion, have no place on the field of battle.  Love calms the righteous anger that burns in the heart of every warrior, which allows evil to flourish, and in turn, love is extinguished.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Paradox of Fear

To many, "fear" is a dirty four letter word.  It is a stumbling block on the way to overcoming your obstacles, and in some cases, fear cripples.  Fear can also be your best friend if you handle it correctly.  Sylvester Stallone compares it to a fire in Rocky 5.  If you control it, it will make you hot.  If you let it control you, it will consume you and everything else around you.

Judgement, knowledge, and courage, three of fourteen traits that make a good leader.  These three traits have one thing in common: they are all rooted in fear, more specifically, fear of undesired consequence.  Fear and knowledge go hand in hand because in this case, knowledge is simply our awareness of the possibility of the undesired consequences which leads us to try and make the right decisions to avoid that consequence.  This is where sound judgement comes into play.  People call courage the antithesis of fear, and say that courage is the overcoming of fear, but that isn't exactly true.

Fear is overcome by fear itself.  Fear of our adversary is overcome by fear of defeat.  Fear of rejection is overcome by our fear of dying alone.  Fear of adversity is overcome by the fear of failure.  In the case of the Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae, the fear of death was overcome by a fear of dishonor and the fear of the death of their families and the destruction of their beloved city.

Franklin Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself.  I say fear is nothing to be afraid of.  Fear is something to be embraced.  It curbs you from recklessness, and can drive you to greatness.  There is nothing wrong with being afraid; there is, however, in allowing it to consume you.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Defining Moments

Sometimes the most meaningful and impactful lessons are learned in the trenches.  My competition career hasn't always been pleasant.  Things took a turn south in my early wrestling career when I became accepting of the fact that in every contest, there must be a winner and a loser.  In the past I have had moments when I let my guard down and had defeat snatched from the jaws of what should have been a sure victory.  It is the nature of competition in general and it is especially the nature of combat sports.  Unfortunately, I believed it.

July 17, 2011 I competed at a grappling tournament in Minnesota.  I was entering my 5th match of the day.  I had won 2 matches and lost 2 matches at this point (the 2 losses were both to the same person).  Because the tournament was held at a training facility and not a larger venue, there was no air conditioning and the temperature that day just happened to be 95 degrees.  I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but at a pivotal point in the match, I was winning by a score of 5-0.  Suddenly my opponent trapped my head and one arm with his legs, and was a few adjustments away from securing a "triangle choke" which has been a kryptonite for me.  I had already fought 4 hard matches that day, it was 95 degrees in the gym, and I was exhausted.  In a moment of weakness I thought to myself "oh no..I can't believe this is happening again" when I heard an all to familiar voice in my ear like an angel on my shoulder saying "No Mike..don't you DARE give that up."  Even though physically he was not there, I heard him.  I managed to escape the attempted choke hold and despite giving up an inconsequential 2 point sweep late in the match, won the match.  It was a big milestone for me personally because it was my first competition win over a blue belt in a "gi" match.

I was too exhausted to realize it at the time, but after some personal reflection time on my 5 hour drive home, I realized that that one single moment would have much further reaching impacts than just winning me that match.  It was the first time in recent times that I had experienced that "grit factor" that drives a person to just win.

In every contest there is always a winner and a loser.  Sometimes it is because one side is just superior to the other, sometimes it is because one person made a critical mistake, sometimes it is because one person happened to make the right decision at the right time.  Sometimes the eventual winner has the advantage the entire match, sometimes he takes victory from the jaws of defeat.  It is just the harsh nature of what we do, and it is a lesson I learned and come to accept early on.  It is a lesson that I am trying to forget.

Everything is easy when things are going right.  People think that Superman is a brave man.  How can you be brave when you know you cannot fail?  It is easy to face bullets when you know they cannot hurt you.  Unfortunately, this is about as realistic as leprechauns and unicorns.  Game plans will fail.  Unexpected things will happen.  Does this mean that we go in blind, without a plan, because inevitably it will fail?  Certainly not.  However, when things don't go according to plan, there is only one decision that needs to be made.

Often times winners win simply because they made that decision to win.  In doing so, you may not always win, but you will always fight.  As the Spartans used to say: "Come home with your shield...or on it."

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mind and Body

Greatness is not normal.  Not in the sense that greatness is abnormal or weird.  It is more a comparison of common vs uncommon.  To attain what is uncommon, you must be willing to do what common people aren't willing to do; to endure what they won't.  Do you want to know how you know you are on the right track?  If you tell someone what you did and their first reaction is "you're crazy" or they ask "why?".  If they need to ask why, don't bother explaining because they wouldn't understand.

How many times have we heard someone say "you should listen to your body"?  Reply back "no, my body listens to me."  I liken the relationship between the mind and the body to that of a parent and a child.  A child will often ask for things that it wants, whether it be a new toy, ice cream before dinner, or permission to stay up late.  The parent knows that this is not in the child's best interest in terms of growth and development, and therefore must say no from time to time.  Similarely, the body will get tired and want to rest.  Just as a child only has the short term in mind, the body is also short-sighted.  The body sees that it is tired at that moment and therefore wants rest.  The mind, mindful of the bigger picture--the ultimate goal--must at that moment decide whether giving into the body's request is in the best interest when it comes to the pursuit of the ultimate goal.  Most of the time, your mind should be saying to press on, but sometimes, rest is in the best interest to prevent injury, which would result in a greater setback in your pursuit of the ultimate goal.

I have often said "Sometimes I train my body to be strong, and sometimes I train it to be obedient."  Yes, this will result in your body feeling less than 100%.  This is just your body throwing a temper tantrum.  Are you going to be that strong parent that sticks to your guns?  Or will you give in?  This is all part of the mental battle.  The funny thing about your body is that it has no memory, and will quickly forgive you when the tempest has settled.  I don't have children of my own, so I cannot speak intelligently on whether children are the same way.  I am hoping so in the interest of reinforcing the analogy (and for my own sake when that day does come when I do have children).

I am going to revert back to my previous post about the captain and the red shirt.  Despite the fact that your body isn't feeling the best, often times you need to "fake it".  Resist the urge to jump to conclusions here.  I am not saying that you should go through the motions.  Quite the opposite.  No matter how you feel on the inside, always appear on the outside like nothing is wrong.  I guarantee that someone else is feeling the same way, just as bad as you, and will see how you respond, and they will respond accordingly.  Someone else is looking to you, relying on you and your reaction to find the inner strength to press on, and as exhausted as you are, and as much as you don't want to press on, you are not alone.  Many before you have felt the same way, or worse, and many before you have overcome those feelings.

The difference between silver and gold, between winners and champions, is that champions are sore BEFORE they get to the gym.

Environment

I am currently in the process of reading a book titled "The Law of Success" by a man named Napoleon Hill.  Hill was an advisor to two U.S. Presidents, Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt.  The fundamental theory behind "The Law of Success" was just what the title says, that success does not involve luck.  There are a set of "rules" or at least common characteristics that lead to success.  Before putting together his book, Hill interviewed some of the mort powerful and influential people of that time, including, but not limited to: Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, John Rockefeller, Charles Schwab, and Theodore Roosevelt.

Although I am not very far into the book (about 150 pages into a 1000+ page "lesson plan"), there are two distinct ideas that I have taken from the book so far. 

The first is that we need to be sure of what our goals are.  Allow me to rephrase that.  We must be sure of what our ULTIMATE goals are.  Mr. Hill calls it a "definite chief aim".  The reason people often fail is because they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment.  Granted, in any journey, there will be detours, obstacles, and roadblocks, but if you set your compass north, you will always find a way around those obstacles and stay in a positive direction.  These roadblocks may slow your journey and even take you places that you didn't expect to go, but as long as you know where your ultimate direction is, you will stay on track.

The second is to surround yourself with the right people; to place yourself in the right environment.  This is where the saying "birds of a feather flock together" came from.  It is no coincidence that the people in the above list knew eachother personally.  They were not rivals, as they were each titans in their own distinct industry, so they could feed off eachother's successes, and learn from their setbacks.

These two "lessons" tie in together when it comes to placing yourself in the right environment.  It is important to have people around you with similar goals as you.  However, in order to actually do this, you have to know what your ultimate goals are.  As it turns out, my ultimate goal is to become a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion, so I am lucky to be in an environment with similar minded individuals.

Everything in your environment is contagious.  I am not talking about actual diseases; I am talking about characteristics.  Courage and enthusiasm (and the lack of) are two prime examples.  Both flow from top to bottom.  When going through hardships, when you are exhausted, or feeling unmotivated, it is human nature to look up.  You look to the people who have been there longer than you.  This is meant to be a message to both leaders and followers.  To the followers, when you are training hard and are feeling exhausted, so are your leaders.  Look at them.  How are they handling it?  Leaders are not immune to fatigue, hardship, and lack of motivation, it is how they handle it that makes them leaders.  Leaders keep it to themselves because they know that there are alot of eyes on them, and how they respond to adversity will influence those that look up to them.  To the leaders, you are being watched, so set a positive example.  Work twice as hard as the followers, and do it cheerfully.  Everything you say and do has a ripple effect among those around you.

I am going to close this up with a "joke" summarizing the leader/follower relationship.

There was a navy crew on a ship at sea.  The liutenant warned the captain that a dozen enemy ships had come over the horizon and combat was imminent.  The captain calmly said to his liutenant "go get my red shirt".  His thinking was that if he were wounded in battle, the red shirt would keep his crew from seeing him bleeding, and as long as he was still fighting strong, they would assume he is still unscathed and also continue to fight.  His liutenant returned with the red shirt and a new warning that another dozen ships had appeared on the horizon.  The captain replied: "go get my brown pants".

Introduction

Greetings and welcome to my new blog.  It is titled "Inside the Mind of a Warrior" because yes, I am heavily involved in combat sports, but it can easily be applied to anyone who is striving to meet a goal they set out for themselves, whatever it may be.

I was motivated to start this blog by 2 people.  One is a person who is very close to me and means very much to me.  She recently started a blog of her own where she very eloquently and passionately outlines her career path, and what inspired her to choose the direction she did.  The other person I had never met, but he was very influential in the world of combat sports.  His name is Charles Lewis Jr. a.k.a. "Mask".  He was one of the founders of what is now known as the TapouT empire.  He once said "Hopefully at the end of the day, it will be said that I encouraged people to encourage."  He was tragically lost in a car wreck.  The world lost a great motivator when he left us.

Again, welcome, and enjoy the ride.