So, someone asked me today "what does 30 feel like?".
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The Paradox of Fear Part Deux
I'm going to further build on this idea that courageous acts are not born out of courage, but out of fear.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
The One Time Choice
Carlos Castaneda said that we choose only once to be warriors or to be ordinary. The difference between the warriors and ordinary men is that where ordinary people see only blessings and curses, successes and failures, wins and losses, the warriors see only challenges; everything is perceived as either a challenge that has been overcome, or it is a challenge yet to be overcome.
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
Monday, October 21, 2013
Dreams and Values
I've heard it said that people don't get to where they want to be because their values are not in line with their dreams. People can dream big and set lofty goals all they want, but if they aren't willing to change their way of thinking, goals mean nothing. What are the values that people need to change?
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
It's in our system of values to think that the work week is 40 hours long, and that you should get 8 hours of sleep to function. It's in our system of values to think that when we're tired, we should listen to our body and rest. Our competition is putting in 45 or 50 hours a week. Our competition knows that it is in our value system to work 40 hours per week, and is working those extra 5 or 10 hours so they can get ahead. Our competition knows that it is in our system of values to spend 8 hours a day sleeping, and are only sleeping 6 hours, and while we are sleeping, they are using those extra 2 hours to get ahead. The competition knows that it is in our value system to rest when we are tired, and so while we rest, they press on.
It's a common system of values that when the sun comes up, it's time to get up. In the jungle, the gazelle waits until the sun rises to get up and begin the day. The lion knows that it's in the gazelle's value system to get up when the sun comes up, so the lion goes on the hunt before the sun rises, and while the gazelle is enjoying its comfort, the lion gets an easy meal.
Here is the bottom line. It boils down to the #1 rule of salesmanship: when value exceeds price, people buy. When the prize is more valuable than the cost, people make the transaction. The problem is that people don't value their dreams enough. People value sleep and comfort more than they value greatness. When becoming a champion is more valuable than the price of sleep and personal comfort, you will make that transaction. When the price of becoming successful at your business becomes more valuable than that hour of leisure time, it becomes much easier to pay the price, and to make that sacrifice.
This is the key: to be able to, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Expectations
In the world of competition, there is no A B C grading scale. There is no room in our world for "at least you tried your best" or "at least you won a medal". In the world of competition, there is winning, and there is losing, and where there is losing, there is learning. "At least you _____" doesn't count for anything unfortunately. There is no A B C grading scale. This is pass or fail. There is victory, or there is nothing.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
I get it though. When you are down, people want to pick you back up, so they say things like "you fought great", "at least you ______" because they want you to feel good. But I don't want to feel good, I want to be a champion. After a defeat or a setback, maybe you aren't supposed to feel good. There are going to be a whole lot of failures, setbacks, and disappointments in between starting and success. That's just the nature of the game. But every defeat, every disappointment, and every setback is just another step closer to success.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Sheepdog Mentality
There are three types of people in this world. There are sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. The relationship between the three is pretty obvious. The sheep have zero capacity for violence, and are relatively incapable of harming another, except by accident or extreme provocation, and therefore, often are victimized by the wolves. The wolves have zero capacity for mercy and little regard for the well-being of others, and therefore, life for nothing more than to victimize others. The sheepdog has both a capacity of violence and mercy. He lives to confront those who wish to victimize others and although wishes to avoid confrontation, is willing to put himself in danger for the greater good.
I won't spend much time talking about what makes a wolf a wolf, because it is obvious.
What makes a sheep a sheep has little to do with being weak or feeble. A sheep is a sheep because he is in denial of the potential dangers that lurk around him. He walks around in a state of "condition white", relatively oblivious to his surroundings or hoping that nothing bad will happen. On the converse, being a sheepdog has little to do with your physical abilities. It has nothing to do with being strong or tough, but it represents a level of preparedness. This doesn't mean that a sheepdog walks around in a constant state of paranoia, or having a vault filled with a plan for every foreseeable danger. There is no way to visualize every possible scenario out there and have a plan for each one. Being a sheepdog means having the ability to react to the unexpected and do so quickly, and most importantly, decisively.
Anyone reading this may begin to think that the whole idea of being a sheepdog is all about being a hero, saving the prey from the predator, or the victim from the bully. Having the sheepdog mentality has much further implications than just saving the little guy from the attacker. You need to be a financial sheepdog. What is your ability to handle the situation is something breaks in your home or on your car? You need to be a situational sheepdog. How do you react if some accidental catastrophe happens, such as a fire or car accident? Do not live in a perpetual state of simply hoping nothing bad will ever happen, that is not peace of mind, nor is it a survival plan. Peace of mind is in knowing that when the unexpected happens, you trust in your ability to execute the cycle of Orient, Observe, Decide, Act, and do so quickly, intelligently, and decisively.
I won't spend much time talking about what makes a wolf a wolf, because it is obvious.
What makes a sheep a sheep has little to do with being weak or feeble. A sheep is a sheep because he is in denial of the potential dangers that lurk around him. He walks around in a state of "condition white", relatively oblivious to his surroundings or hoping that nothing bad will happen. On the converse, being a sheepdog has little to do with your physical abilities. It has nothing to do with being strong or tough, but it represents a level of preparedness. This doesn't mean that a sheepdog walks around in a constant state of paranoia, or having a vault filled with a plan for every foreseeable danger. There is no way to visualize every possible scenario out there and have a plan for each one. Being a sheepdog means having the ability to react to the unexpected and do so quickly, and most importantly, decisively.
Anyone reading this may begin to think that the whole idea of being a sheepdog is all about being a hero, saving the prey from the predator, or the victim from the bully. Having the sheepdog mentality has much further implications than just saving the little guy from the attacker. You need to be a financial sheepdog. What is your ability to handle the situation is something breaks in your home or on your car? You need to be a situational sheepdog. How do you react if some accidental catastrophe happens, such as a fire or car accident? Do not live in a perpetual state of simply hoping nothing bad will ever happen, that is not peace of mind, nor is it a survival plan. Peace of mind is in knowing that when the unexpected happens, you trust in your ability to execute the cycle of Orient, Observe, Decide, Act, and do so quickly, intelligently, and decisively.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Rules of Success
A wise person once told me that you only suffer as much as you want to. This is true in so many ways, and unfortunately people just don't see it. Desire is the fuel that drives action, and contentment is the brake pedal. If you are not acting to change your situation, it is because deep down, no matter how much you claim the contrary, you are content with your current situation. How many times have we been in the middle of something and all of a sudden you feel like you need to answer nature's call? You think to yourself, "oh, I can hold it..it's not that bad" we take action when we don't feel like holding it in anymore. We are content with holding it in until the pain (or the DESIRE to relieve that pain) forces us to act.
All successful people, whether it is a businessman, an athlete, or whatever else has one thing in common. They hate to fail. They hate to lose. It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth. Muhammed Ali once said that only a man who knows what it's like to be defeated can reach deep down in his soul and find the strength to win when the fight is even. Take this one step further. Successful people don't just hate to fail, they hate failure in general. In order to be successful, you must learn to hate failure to the point where you refuse to accept it for yourself, and hate to see it in others, even by your competition. I always want to beat my competition, but I want to beat them by my actions, my progress, and my success, and not by their lack thereof.
The other thing successful people have in common is that they are uncommon. They do what the common people don't do. That includes taking the initiative to wake up early on weekends when they don't have to. Sleeping in accomplishes only one thing. It wastes time that you could be getting something accomplished. Unless you are a 2nd shift worker, pretty much everybody, even successful people, are doing the same thing at 9 pm. They are unwinding, getting ready to shut down for the day. The difference comes in the morning, when some will get up at 6, and take that extra 3 hours while the other guy is still sleeping.
Your success will be defined in the unseen moments. When everyone else is resting, what are you doing? When the other guy says "that's good enough" what will you say?
All successful people, whether it is a businessman, an athlete, or whatever else has one thing in common. They hate to fail. They hate to lose. It leaves a bitter taste in their mouth. Muhammed Ali once said that only a man who knows what it's like to be defeated can reach deep down in his soul and find the strength to win when the fight is even. Take this one step further. Successful people don't just hate to fail, they hate failure in general. In order to be successful, you must learn to hate failure to the point where you refuse to accept it for yourself, and hate to see it in others, even by your competition. I always want to beat my competition, but I want to beat them by my actions, my progress, and my success, and not by their lack thereof.
The other thing successful people have in common is that they are uncommon. They do what the common people don't do. That includes taking the initiative to wake up early on weekends when they don't have to. Sleeping in accomplishes only one thing. It wastes time that you could be getting something accomplished. Unless you are a 2nd shift worker, pretty much everybody, even successful people, are doing the same thing at 9 pm. They are unwinding, getting ready to shut down for the day. The difference comes in the morning, when some will get up at 6, and take that extra 3 hours while the other guy is still sleeping.
Your success will be defined in the unseen moments. When everyone else is resting, what are you doing? When the other guy says "that's good enough" what will you say?
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