So, someone asked me today "what does 30 feel like?".
Well, I will tell you.
In his recent Oscars acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughy said that there are three things that he needs on a daily basis to keep him pushing forward. The first is someone to look up to, the second is something to look forward to, and the third is someone or something to chase.
With that being said, 30 feels a lot like 20.
All of the things that I am chasing now are just as far ahead of me as the things that I was chasing when I was 20 were ahead of me then. I keep all of my goals just out of reach, and every time I feel like I take a step closer towards catching them, I push them just a little further ahead. This keeps me in the chase, and keeps me hungry.
The only difference between 30 and 20 is now that I'm 10 years older, have 10 more years of experience under my belt, what I am chasing has changed, and I am 10 years wiser in how I go about the chase.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The Paradox of Fear Part Deux
I'm going to further build on this idea that courageous acts are not born out of courage, but out of fear.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
Why is a firefighter willing to run into a burning building to battle a fire, or rescue someone trapped inside? Is it because they are unafraid of getting burned, or suffering respiratory disorders from smoke inhalation? Clearly not, as illustrated by all the protective clothing and equipment they wear. They are clearly afraid of the risks. So why are they willing to take these risks? It is because they have a greater fear of allowing the building to collapse, or even worse, allowing someone else to die in the fire.
There is a lot of risk involved in starting a new business venture. There is a risk of failure, which, depending on the amount invested, could result in losing your house. So why are people willing to take this risk? Personally, I am willing to take on new entrepreneurial endeavors, despite being afraid of failure and financial loss, I am more afraid of the financial uncertainty that comes with working for someone else. Furthermore, I am more afraid that what I earn from working for someone else, although it does meet my current needs, it may not be enough when my financial needs change.
What happens when I get married and start a family? Or want to move into a larger house or buy a new car? My current salary may not be enough to provide for my future family. Of course, I could follow the common advice and "live within my means", but why lower my standards? This is another part of the fear that drives me to pursue secondary and tertiary income streams. I am more afraid of having to sacrifice the kind of lifestyle that I wanted than I am of failing. I'd rather make my means match my lifestyle than make my lifestyle match my means.
The One Time Choice
Carlos Castaneda said that we choose only once to be warriors or to be ordinary. The difference between the warriors and ordinary men is that where ordinary people see only blessings and curses, successes and failures, wins and losses, the warriors see only challenges; everything is perceived as either a challenge that has been overcome, or it is a challenge yet to be overcome.
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
This is a choice we only make once time because it is a choice that affects your fundamental approach to everything else in life. Because ordinary people only see things as wins and losses as opposed to simply challenges that have or have not yet been overcome, they often are not willing to persist through adversity as long as those with the warrior mindset are. We have been deceived to think that success and failure are opposite of each other. The dictionary even defines failure as the lack of success.
Failure and success are not opposites. They are, in fact, very closely related. What ordinary people call failure is merely a checkpoint on the way to success. It is almost a necessity that you go through these checkpoints before succeeding, because nothing great ever happens on the first try. If you are succeeding at hitting your goals on the first try, you are not setting your goals high enough. I'm reminded of Thomas Edison, who tried ten thousand times before successfully creating the incandescent light bulb. When asked about all these "failed" attempts, he simply said "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I just learned 9,999 ways how not to make a light bulb".
But, is this really a choice between the ordinary mindset and the warrior mindset? I have been blessed with the privilege of watching 2 beautiful nieces grow up before my eyes, but what I consider just as much of a privilege is what I have learned from observing them as they grow, as they first learn to roll from their back to their belly and back, as they first learn to creep and crawl and become mobile, and then when they get up on their feet and start to walk. This whole process is full of frustration for the child.
The first time they try to walk, they make it only a step or two before falling back to the ground, but does the child give up on the whole walking thing and crawl around on his or her belly for the rest of their life just because it didn't work out the first, second, or third time? Obviously the answer is no, so my question is why do we give up on your goals and dreams just because they don't work out for us on the first few tries.
I dare someone to fail at something 10, 100, or 1,000 times before giving up. Going back to the first rule of salesmanship, that when value exceeds price, people make a transaction. Are your goals more valuable than the cost of possibly failing 10, 100, or 1,000 times?
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